Sorry I’ve been MIA

WOW…. it feels like its been forever since I have posted anything on my blog. I have really been slacking and I am truly sorry to all my followers. The last couple months have been a blur with so many changes happening. In short I basically uprooted my whole life, and moved down to the city. While thinking that was the best decision for myself, I rehomed all my beloved animals and left my boyfriend of six years.

Rehoming all my animals was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my entire life. They where my everything! All three horses went to different homes. Scooby went to a riding school where he will have a long and happy life doing trail rides. He will teach children and adults of all ages on how to become amazing riders. Daenerys went to a family where she will eventually be trained to be a gaming horse. Where Joleen, my heart horse went to a lady on a contract where if the lady who got her could no longer care for her I’d be the first to be able to bring her home. With that being said I was asked if I could take her back, and I am more than thrilled to be able to have Joleen back with me where she belongs. Its almost as it was fates plan all along. How does that quote go “If its meant to be set it free and if it comes back than it was meant to be yours” well however, it is said I am truly blessed to be bringing her home in the next few weeks to come.

As for chali, She was rehomed to a really good friend of mine. Chali has been living the life of a princess and is being treated amazingly. I get updates all the time on her. Chali has a big brother who is a golden retriever called Remie, a cat sister who is also called Callie as well. Funny eh almost like it was meant. Although, due to the names being to conflicting Chali had her name changed to Cassie, which is so close to her original name that there wasn’t conflict in her learning a new name.

As for my hedgehog I know I didn’t have her for long, but I did love her dearly and her temperament was truly amazing. Daria was a one of a kind, full of love, this little prickly rodent. Which, I wish I would have been able to bring her with me as she seemed to grasp on to how peoples emotions worked. Daria, would have made a great emotional support animal.

I have made so many sacrafices these past few months, that this is just the start of many more blogs to come. some will question my choices, some will shake there heads, and others may be extremely disappointed! It all begins today with new material hitting “You Are Strong For Surviving” stay tuned for more.

~Enjoy Life~

Today, I felt pretty. I did up my hair and painted my face, with a few shades of colour. Looking in the mirror, I seen a reflection. A smile so wide and a twinkle in my eye. I thought to myself…..pondering a while, this is you! That girl who has been missing for so long has finally come back. The Journey is just beginning and I’m taking every step in stride. Confidence is growing, happiness is thriving and loving myself is a gift!

Never give up, keep pushing forward and always believe in yourself. This is your story, don’t let anyone else write it for you!

Most of all Enjoy every bit of Life, and make lasting memories that you’ll remember forever….

~When the Phoenix Rises~

I have no feeling 😞 it’s numb…. I try to move, however, I lie here paralyzed! Help! Can you hear my plea? My mind is a dangerous place, please don’t worry. This place I’m trapped in has punished me, it’s broke my spirit and stole my soul. Help! I can’t breathe, it feels like I am suffocating.

They’re is no explanation; this ain’t easy for you? Ya, it’s no walk in the park for me either. Throughout the years, I never spoke; because I never new how too. Reliving those painful days, the constant flash backs. The nightmares that surfaced every so often, made it challenging to find sleep. Growing paranoid and frightened, of black shadows and images in the night. The voices that spoke, became magnified!

Are these opinions, or is this my way of explaining the process to you all! There is no resentment or tediousness, being a young an vulnerable child, transformed into a teenager. Thy body was abused and no longer foreseen as a temple! Battered and beaten, my voice became silenced. It became easier to hide the damage that was done. Are you saying you’d have believed a word I’d had said? Would you have treated me any differently? The words to form in person is difficult, however, writing has become my way out. A way out of the darkness! A way at finding peace!

Oh dear, child. Please don’t cry, it’ll be alright. Those countless times your voice was silenced! Your subtle quietness never worried a soul, even with the constant battle you endured. There was no peace, just a broken little girl. Her eyes as bright as emerald green with a tinge of blue like the sea. Her heart carries a burden of many secrets, wondering lost in a wave of emotions.

Sometimes words don’t have an impact; repetition doesn’t make a difference! Communication can becomes misinterpreted. The truth uncovers isolation and abandonment shows the light of a dark childhood.

If a picture was painted; you’d never believe the sight you’d see…… My writing has became my voice, in processing these undesirable memories. I so desperately need to erase!

Possibly, one day I can physically come forward and verbally tell my story. Until then the ashes lay safely within me, awaiting for the day when the Phoenix rises, striving for peace and resilience. However, a Phoenix first must burn; In order to rise from its own ashes!

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