I have no feeling 😞 it’s numb…. I try to move, however, I lie here paralyzed! Help! Can you hear my plea? My mind is a dangerous place, please don’t worry. This place I’m trapped in has punished me, it’s broke my spirit and stole my soul. Help! I can’t breathe, it feels like I am suffocating.
They’re is no explanation; this ain’t easy for you? Ya, it’s no walk in the park for me either. Throughout the years, I never spoke; because I never new how too. Reliving those painful days, the constant flash backs. The nightmares that surfaced every so often, made it challenging to find sleep. Growing paranoid and frightened, of black shadows and images in the night. The voices that spoke, became magnified!
Are these opinions, or is this my way of explaining the process to you all! There is no resentment or tediousness, being a young an vulnerable child, transformed into a teenager. Thy body was abused and no longer foreseen as a temple! Battered and beaten, my voice became silenced. It became easier to hide the damage that was done. Are you saying you’d have believed a word I’d had said? Would you have treated me any differently? The words to form in person is difficult, however, writing has become my way out. A way out of the darkness! A way at finding peace!
Oh dear, child. Please don’t cry, it’ll be alright. Those countless times your voice was silenced! Your subtle quietness never worried a soul, even with the constant battle you endured. There was no peace, just a broken little girl. Her eyes as bright as emerald green with a tinge of blue like the sea. Her heart carries a burden of many secrets, wondering lost in a wave of emotions.
Sometimes words don’t have an impact; repetition doesn’t make a difference! Communication can becomes misinterpreted. The truth uncovers isolation and abandonment shows the light of a dark childhood.
If a picture was painted; you’d never believe the sight you’d see…… My writing has became my voice, in processing these undesirable memories. I so desperately need to erase!
Possibly, one day I can physically come forward and verbally tell my story. Until then the ashes lay safely within me, awaiting for the day when the Phoenix rises, striving for peace and resilience. However, a Phoenix first must burn; In order to rise from its own ashes!